Kingdom Seeker

Mystery Church Tour p.5

(This blog series is not intended to be a critique of the churches we visit, but rather an expression of our observances and how they relate to our quest.  We recognize the fact that each and every church we visit belong to Christ and His glory is on display to some measure in each one.  We also realize there are no perfect churches and we all rely on Jesus to clothe us with His righteousness.)

The 5th stop of the tour was a bit of a contrast to the week before in several ways.  Besides the obvious size difference (this church was much smaller and operated out of a little shopping center), the service had a very intimate feel to it.  We went to an earlier service where there were very few people and the room itself was small.  The band was pretty good and the music really pumped due to the low ceiling.  After a couple of opening songs, we had a greeting time.  It is funny how so many churches despite denominational differences include a time to get around and greet each other.  The only think I didn't like about it was that it was 10 minutes long.  No exaggeration there.  10 minutes with no background music at all. Very awkward, especially since there were only about 30 people there.  Everything the worship leader accomplished in helping us to focus on Christ was lost with the greeting time interruption.  As a result, the 2nd set of music was lacking a little.  As a worship leader myself, I know how difficult it is to reign everyone in.  I have a close pastor friend who teaches his church that the foyer or front lobby of their building is "horizontal", but once you come in to the main sanctuary it is "vertical".  That is great advice for any church.
So after the music, one of the associates preached that morning.  Again, we caught a Sunday where the main pastor wasn't preaching.   That's not such a bad thing though because you can get a better feel of the church as a whole and you can evaluate it without being influenced by the pastor's oratorical skills.  The sermon delivered was from the text which is good, however it wouldn't make for a good defense of expository preaching.  Whereas the sermon the week before was more topical, this sermon was technically expository, but it was an example as to why so many churches have replaced biblical preaching with "relevant topical preaching".  It was just plain boring.   In other words, there is such a thing as bad expository preaching.  Read a verse, make a comment, read another verse, make a comment and so on is not expository preaching in its fullness.  The best sermons are not only straight from the text, but also straight from the heart of the preacher.  You can tell when the sermon that the preacher has prepared has affected his own soul during its preparation.  When it has, there is a passion that gushes out of him.  A good preacher is one where the Word has gotten into him before it comes out of him.   If you want some examples, I highly recommend you listen to John Piper or Matt Chandler.  Listen and tell me your heart is not moved away from yourself and toward God.  That's my challenge to you.  Okay, enough with the commercials for Reformed preaching.  : )

The pastor did come up at the end of the service and he seemed like a very authentic guy and so I would have liked to hear him speak.  He comes from a bible church background so my assumption is that he is a bible preacher.  Overall, this service was a mixed bag of intimate worship, dead time, and boring preaching.  It is so hard as I write this blog to take off my minister's hat as I see so many things I would like to do to make the service more Christ-centered.   The challenge to just get "lost in worship" is great for me because I keep thinking about ways to improve it.  So far, The Village has been the only place where this has happened, but I'm not giving up hope yet.  The mystery church tour has been so helpful in reminding us that the church isn't perfect, yet we know she is the bride that is being prepared for our great groom, Jesus Christ!  I just wish that more churches operated like this was true. 

Mystery Church Tour p.4

(This blog series is not intended to be a critique of the churches we visit, but rather an expression of our observances and how they relate to our quest.  We recognize the fact that each and every church we visit belong to Christ and His glory is on display to some measure in each one.  We also realize there are no perfect churches and we all rely on Jesus to clothe us with His righteousness.)

Our fourth stop on the tour was a large church that we had heard about for years from friends who attend there.  This church has grown by leaps and bounds and has a reputation for connecting with the community.  The pastor has a reputation for being bible-driven and bold in his presentation.  So even though we did not plan to attend this church originally, we changed our minds and decided to give it a try.
The facility is rather impressive cosmetically and as soon as we walked into the foyer, we were welcomed by their greeting team, and I mean team!  They have a very organized plan for welcoming new guests. Since the church is so large, no one assumes that you a regular attender so they come right up to you and ask if you are visiting the first time.  (I'm sure the looks on our faces are an indication as well).  Then they lead you to a table where you fill out their visitor card on a clipboard and offer you a cup of coffee and a gift bag.  Tina remarked that it reminded her of the survey people in the mall.  This approach is definitely effective in building your database of guests, but I'm not big on being solicited.  Having said this, I'm sure a great deal of people love the personal attention. 

After being welcomed, we walked into a large sanctuary and grabbed a seat in the back which might not have been a great idea.   There was an upbeat jazzy song being played by their band which consisted of drums, guitars, piano, bass set combined with a brass section.  I love jazz bands so I had high hopes for their music on this occasion.  After the opening number which was your typical "get-them-in" song, we stood for a more participatory song "How great is our God".  I'm not sure if was due to the rather cavernous atmosphere of the room or the fact we sat in the back, but I felt really disconnected during the worship music time.  Even though we were singing, we couldn't shake the whole performance feel of the service.  I am not against musical performances in a worship service, but I believe participation is much more vital.  The first song was really slow and I guess I'm just accustomed to beginning a service with much more energy.  The jazz band at the beginning was only a tease as they left the stage after the first song.   After the song we took communion.  Then after communion, there was another performance song which was a "Casting Crowns" cover aimed to be an obvious lead in to the sermon the preacher would deliver shortly thereafter.  So, there was basically ONE song of participation.  That's it!  Now, I know I'm a worship leader by trade and therefore a little biased, but one song?? Really?

Then after the last performance song, the Pastor delivered his message.  It was on marriage and although I'm not against marriage and parenting sermons because obviously the Bible is not silent on these issues, I'm not a fan of topical messages that use the Bible for mere proof-texting.  It is dangerous ground when we use the Bible to support our preconceived ideas no matter how practical and sound they are.  I feel the sermon should not be just bible-based, but bible-saturated.  This particular message amounted to nothing more than marital advice as the 6 or 7 points he delivered were similar to what Dr. Phil could have given me.  By contrast, when John Piper preached on marriage it was focused more on the display of Christ and His glory and how marriage between a man and woman is a temporal image of a greater marriage, namely Christ and His church.  I feel so strongly that in order to have a God honoring marriage, we need to have the glory of Christ preached to us so that we will understand the true context of earthly marriage.  How do we know this? Because the scriptures tell us this much.  Why would we want tor trade the thoughts of God for the thoughts of Dr. Phil, Oprah, James Dobson, or any other?  The Bible isn't a handbook for right living, it is a revelation of Christ.  This is what gospel-driven, Christ-centered preaching is about.  If this particular church were to offer marital classes at other times, I would find no problem with it.  But when you replace the most central means of worship in a gathering, namely the proclamation of the Word, then you really don't have a worship service.  Add in the fact that another key aspect of the worship service was limited to one song, then you walk out feeling empty.  I realize that a healthy church consists of more than a Sunday worship service and that it is a living organism that thrives throughout the week, but it has no chance to be any more than a social activity if the gospel isn't proclaimed.  I could be just fine with a church that does very little music if they are committed to preaching the Word, in fact, after the one song, I just assumed that this church was all about the sermon.  But alas, I was wrong. 
Now to be fair, this church has been instrumental to many changed lives, and no doubt many have been led to Christ through their various ministries.  I only attended one service, so it would be unfair to characterize this church in generalities.  Again, this is our Mystery Church tour and it is based on our observances of one service.  Maybe the other 51 Sundays weren't like this, so I want to give this church a little grace. 

Mystery Church Tour p.3

(This blog series is not intended to be a critique of the churches we visit, but rather an expression of our observances and how they relate to our quest.  We recognize the fact that each and every church we visit belong to Christ and His glory is on display to some measure in each one.  We also realize there are no perfect churches and we all rely on Jesus to clothe us with His righteousness.)

Yesterday was week three of the tour.  Diversity has been the theme in summarizing these past few weeks.  Week one was a medium size church, week 2 was a very large church, and this week we visited a small church in a country town.  When we walked in to the foyer, we were greeted by a couple of people, but not immediately.  I guess some would find that a negative, but for me personally, I would rather not be "targeted" as greeting ministries often do.  I was, however, appreciative that the two people were sensitive to the fact that we were visiting and took the time to inquire.  Let me add that they were not official greeters, just a couple of alert members. At 10:20 we decided to find our seats in the auditorium as we waited for the 10:30 start time.  The pastor greeted us as he walked in and talked to us for a few minutes.  He explained that the service would be a little different because the town was celebrating "Founders Day" with a festival and many of the church members were working there or had been all weekend to raise funds for the summer mission trip.  
As it turned out, there were about 96 in attendance which was about 60-70 short of a normal Sunday I'm told.  You wouldn't have thought so during the music as the band played.  It seemed like there was near 100% participation in the worship time because so many were singing around us as we sang some familiar tunes like Blessed be the Name, Awesome is the Lord, and Your Grace is Enough. The worship leader and the band did an awesome job in leading us and you I didn't sense anything but a humble spirit from them!  Tina really enjoyed it because she always felt like she stuck out when she sang at our old church.  Yesterday, she could belt out the songs and blend in with everyone.  One thing I appreciate about the churches yesterday and last week was the volume of the music.  They really pumped it up and in doing so allowed everyone to really sing without self-consciousness.  I wonder if the reason people don't participate in some of our modern churches is because the volume of the band is too low?  Hmm.  Maybe.
The pastor gave a short message that I think was intended to be shorter, but I got the feeling he had more to say than intended and went longer than planned.  He spoke from Matthew 5 about Jesus calling us to be salt and light and applied the message in a practical sense by the opportunity to be salt and light in the small community that gathered for the festival  only a couple of blocks outside their door that day.  In fact, the church was in charge of trash duty at the festival which the Pastor pointed out was compatible with taking on the lowest form of servanthood.  I was especially moved when he reminded us that Jesus would be at the festival probably picking up people's trash as well.  It challenged me to find ways to serve others while I'm in this downtime between jobs. 
We really felt we met with God yesterday which is the most important thing, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention a couple things that I would have liked to see improved.  First, the service didn't start on time.  The start time was supposed to be 10:30 but it was somewhere between 10:35 and 10:40 before it started.  In defense of the church, they are in a laid back country town and the church reflects that which is often a refreshing attribute.  My personal preference is if you have a start time then you should stick to it.  Now as far as a stop time?  No guarantees there!  : ) 
Next, there was a little inconsistency with the media as there were different fonts from one slide to another and often we were on the wrong slide.  Not a huge deal, but distracting none the less.  By the way, it has nothing to do with being a small church because there were similar issues with the media at the large church last week too.  In fact, I went to a Worship Leader's Conference a couple of summers ago and THEY were having issues with it!   Sometimes, the leader improvises (I was rightly accused of that so many times ), but most of the time a little preparation will go a long way. 
Again, these distractions were minor but might have been major to someone who is new and isn't familiar with the songs being played. 
On a positive note, communion was offered after the message while the band played one more song and I happen to know this church takes it every week.  I really wish Communion was taken more in our evangelical churches. While I don't think it has to be every week, I know the reason why churches don't do it more is because they've made it so formal that it's quite a chore to do it that often.  Also, the reason given for not doing it more is because they want the few times they take it to be "special".  Personally, I think taking the blood and body of Christ is always special (yes I know the bread and juice is symbolic, I don't hold to transubstantiation).  It's this very Christ ordained rite that is special.  It's impact on our lives is not dependent on our formalities or productions.  Taking communion is powerful because Christ ordained it as a means of grace, not merely for remembrance.   If we get to the point that Communion "doesn't work so let's take it less", then when will we apply the same theory to preaching, singing, praying?  Oops. That has been done. :(   Pragmatism should never be a church's driving force.  I'm glad this church doesn't forsake God ordained activities for clever marketing driven ones!   (ok, time to get off of my theo-soapbox)  I
There was much to like about this church despite the minor blips.  This particular church is obviously one that loves Christ by evidence of their overwhelming spirit of worship and service! 

Mystery Church Tour p.2

(This blog series is not intended to be a critique of the churches we visit, but rather an expression of our observances and how they relate to our quest.  We recognize the fact that each and every church we visit belong to Christ and His glory is on display to some measure in each one.  We also realize there are no perfect churches and we all rely on Jesus to clothe us with His righteousness.)

This morning we attended the 8am service of this week's mystery church.  Easter is the hardest Sunday to visit a prospective church because presumably you will get their best effort and not necessarily their normal effort.  I was already familiar with this particular church today so I knew what to expect.  We were not disappointed.  The parking lot was packed and their  crew did a great job of moving cars through.  We were just a tad late (I had to get gas on the way), but came in during the first song.  We sat near the back right again, but this time we had no choice.  After a celebratory song, there were a couple announcements and then the lights went down for the music worship time.  I like having all of the lights up and a kickoff song followed by announcements to clear the way for non-stop focused worship (I include the sermon as part of the worship as well).  We used to do that when I was leading music and often called it the "throw-away" song because people were still coming in.  I regret using that term because it's only a throw-away for the people who don't get there on time.  For everyone who already have their seat, it's a great way to celebrate Christ! 
Even though the band and worship leaders were excellent musically speaking, they did little to draw attention to themselves.  I love the fact that the only things that command your attention in the room are the lyrics on the screen and a well lit cross on the stage.   The songs were Christ and Cross centered and theologically rich.  My philosophy of church music is that it's not only a vertical experience, but a horizontal one as well.   The early church sang hymns and spiritual songs to each other for the purpose of teaching.  So, there needs to be a balance of prayerful songs sung "to God",  with theologically deep songs "about God."   People fall into two basic personality types, instinctive and intellectual.  So I believe music should engage on both levels especially intellectually.  There's no such thing as mindless worship. 

After the music portion of the service, the preacher came up and went right to work.  He didn't do anything to ruin the mood, in fact, he capitalized on the pervasive ambiance and rightly divided the scripture.  Not surprisingly, he preached from Luke 24 regarding the aftermath of the resurrection.  He explained very clearly how the crucifixion saves us "from" God's wrath, and the resurrection saves us "to" life now.  The main idea of his message was the resurrection and it's implication to life now.

Prior to this, he discussed how as a preacher on Easter Sunday, that he might be expected to take an apologetic approach to the resurrection.  He then went down a list of evidences that refute the modern secular explanations for the empty tomb.  He pointed out how crazy the theories are in light of historical evidence.  For example, if Jesus didn't really die when he was entombed as one prevailing theory suggests, then how did he walk the Emmaus Road 7 miles out of Jerusalem within 48 hours of being nailed and hung to a cross and run through with a lung collapsing spear thrust? 
He also quipped how difficult it would to be an atheist in relation to the deep groaning in our souls regarding the diseases and deaths in our world.  If, according to natural selection, nature is just weeding out the weak links then why dig wells in Darfur?  Why attempt to feed people in Africa if there is no redemptive purpose for humanity? 
Of course, in his attempt to "avoid"  an intellectual defense of the Bible, he masterfully defended the Resurrection in his 5-10 minute discourse as the precursor to his main sermon idea.  He went on to explain what the resurrection means to us and for us.   As usual, this preacher left the listener with self-examining questions and in doing so, clearly drew the line between true gospel preaching and the "therapeutic" nonsense that is prevalent in many evangelical churches today.  In light of the fact that the crowd was diverse on this Easter Sunday, the sermon provided "thinking points" for nearly every possible type of parishioner. 
At the sermon's close, he dismissed us in prayer and asked everyone to leave quietly to enable others to stay behind for counsel or prayer.  Overall, this was an inspiring, convicting, Christ-centered worship service.  It was no-frills in its approach (no latte bars or pageant like production),  but deep in purpose and meaning.  

Mystery Church Tour p.1

(This blog series is not intended to be a critique of the churches we visit, but rather an expression of our observances and how they relate to our quest.  We recognize the fact that each and every church we visit belong to Christ and His glory is on display to some measure in each one.  We also realize there are no perfect churches and we all rely on Jesus to clothe us with His righteousness.)

Last weekend we said "goodbye" to our church of 19 years.  This week, we began the mystery church tour.  It is a mystery because I want to blog about our Sunday experiences and keep the identity of each church anonymous.

This morning we attended a Baptist church in the area.  As we drove within a few blocks, I began to feel something I haven't felt in years.  It was the feeling of complete stranger about to walk into someone's house filled with other people who we had no connection to.  Now, I realize there is a trend in mainstream evangelical churches to identify guests and overwhelm them with hospitality, but I can tell you from my perspective, that is the last thing I wanted this morning.  I wanted to blend in with the crowd and slip in the back door and find my seat.  My prayer as we approached the parking lot was that there would be a crowd big enough to do so. 
This church is not a large church, however they do have 3 services and we attended the 9:15 service.  (talk about getting a jump on the lunch crowd!)  When we walked in the front door we were confused by the layout of the building.  There were two doors and there seemed to be many people going through either one. We took the one on the right and noticed we were walking down a hallway leading to offices and classrooms, although there were many people traversing them.  We thought maybe we were going the wrong way, but we soon found that this hallway included entrances into the semi-circle shaped auditorium.   As soon as we sat down in the back right corner, we smelled coffee to our great relief! There was only a few minutes till start time so I went on a short expedition to locate the source of the aroma.  I walked out into the hallway again and knew immediately I didn't know where to go, so I flagged down a guy to ask about the coffee and he pointed me up the hallway to the kitchen.  Once I got to the kitchen I saw some coffee pumps on a little bar.  There were a few people getting their coffee and some ladies behind the counter.  As I listened to the small talk at the bar, I was reminded of my old church and had a mixed feeling of familiarity and self-consciousness.  It was surreal.  It was like the people around the coffee bar had been substituted by other people. 
After taking our coffee back to our seats in the auditorium, the music was ready to begin.  We took a couple sips and placed our cups on the floor and participated in worship.  The worship team consisted of a pianist, drummer,  bass, two acoustic guitars, lead guitar, and 4 worship singers.  The lead worshiper was a guy with a guitar who did a very nice job and had a calming effect.  The mood was worshipful and the song selection was good.  SInce this is palm Sunday, there were many songs about the Cross which I loved, and frankly I think every other Sunday should have a heavy dose of the Cross.  There were scripture readings, two to be exact,  which I appreciate because this time should not be just about music.  If I regret one thing in my time leading worship, it would be that we didn't read and meditate scripture more.  The only negative is that the flow was broken up a little too much with the two separate readings, but I won't complain too much.  Overall, I was able to connect with God and focus on the cross!
 I have to say, there is a huge challenge to keep from being distracted in a worship service when you have an evaluating attitude as I did.  That will be hard for me to overcome as I visit around.  I found myself thinking about little things that could be improved.  Here are a few:  volunteers to help guests find their way, lighting in the back corners of the auditorium (where we sat, there were no lights so I had a difficult time reading, I guess that's what we get for being back-row baptists :) , an over the ear or lapel mic for the pastor (he used a hand held mic for his sermon and at times I couldn't hear him)
That brings me to the preaching.  This by far is the most important aspect of the service.  Preaching is central and although the church has many activities, preaching is its primary function.  The pastor seemed personal and with a healthy sense of humor.  His sermon was packed with scripture, and most importantly he preached what the text was saying.  I never had the feeling that he was trying to find scripture to support his topic, it was the other way around.  He began with the text of Isaiah 53 and communicated it's message. 
The downside?  Most of the sermon was read and felt like it.  He used a personal illustration where he could break away from his notes a little, but then it was back to what was more of a lecture than a passionate sermon.   To me, there are pastors who spend a lot of time compiling information for a sermon, and then there are pastors who spend hours meditating on the information. That is a huge difference.   If you've ever enjoyed a great home cooked meal, you actually appreciate all the time and effort that went into the preparation even though you didn't see it.  
Although the sermon this morning was packed with truth, it lacked passion.  It was a going-through-the-motions experience.  Despite that, it was Gospel, and it was Christ-centered, and God's Word is powerful in spite of our lack of passion. 
At the end of the message, there was an invitation which is standard Baptist fare.  As a personal aside, I think it's time to put this tradition to rest.  I prefer something more like the Village Church as their messages come to a close, people are invited to stay and pray, self-examine while the exiting crowd is asked to step out quietly.   Then again, I think the focus and content of the sermon preached has a lot to do with this.  A good sermon always convicts and challenges self-examination.  The natural effects of a gospel driven message is that God's holiness is revealed, our self-righteousness is exposed, and the question is asked "what will we do? bow down before Him or continue in our ways?"

Out of the Quicksand

For 6 months I've been putting off this post that I'm about to write.  For obvious reasons, it is of a very personal nature and fact is I haven't really wanted to go back to places that God has carried me through.  I always knew deep down that I would share what I'm about to write, but it was always too soon and too fresh to do so.  When I woke up this morning, I didn't have a clue that I would be writing this post, yet after my morning devotion, God has urged me to do so now. 
Even now there is a inward trembling taking place as I contemplate what I'm about to write, yet my hands are steady and the heart is ready. 

Dillon WINS!!! SWEEPING CHANGES TO COME! not really

Thanks to all of you who voted Dillon!  It was a hard fought race, and despite the smear campaigns and dirty politics, the better candidate won out!!

New opportunities

Come January I will be a contributing author for http://firstnetchurch.com/ .  I hope you will drop by.  First Church Net is a virtual church not to replace the local church, but will provide spiritual encouragement, resources, and community nonetheless. I will have more info closer to the launch of January 2nd.

My Library Thing

My Library Thing is a nifty website that allows you to keep an online library of the books you've read.  Here's a sampling of where my brain's been the past few years.

Remembering Fuzzy

Sunday morning, I lost one of the better friends I've had in my life.  Craig Zeller, or "Fuzzy" as he was more commonly known, was undoubtedly one of the funniest people I ever knew!  I first knew him as one of my teachers in high school, but we forged a friendship that went beyond the teacher-student relationship.  Ironically, Fuzzy the friend taught me much more than Fuzzy the teacher.  When I was his student, he acted more like one my buddies that I hung out with.

ONE OF THE GUYS

In high school, my friends and I created a fantasy basketball league which carried us all through graduation.  Of course, it wasn't called "fantasy" basketball and we didn't play "online" because there was no internet.  We were obsessed with our game to the point where we were distracted by it and our school work suffered. (well, at least mine did) Our school administrator soon got wind of our league and told us we needed to refocus on our education (as well he should).  Fuzzy was also the asst. administrator at the time and when we had a couple kids drop out of the "Arlington Basketball League", he joined our league.  Each week he turned in his starting lineup and joined in all the "trash talk" between team owners.  He was as much into in as we were even though he was a little older.  I soon became friends with Fuzzy beyond basketball.  He was someone I would go see after I graduated from high school, sometimes at his office and even his house a couple times.  After a few years, I lost contact with Fuzzy.  I don't know why. We lived in the same town.  I guess it was like many relationships, unintentionally parting ways through times of marriage, kids, career, and new relationships.

LAUGHTER

Of course, we crossed paths in between and we instantly picked up where we left off! When I saw him, I did what I could to make him laugh, because his cartoonish chuckle was so infectious and fun to hear. For instance, I always did impressions of people (still do) and try to get him to crack up, which he did.  One, in particular, was one of the other teachers at TCA.  I was known as the kid who always carried a newspaper, specifically the sports section.  This teacher would always mooch the paper from me, browse through it, and return it to me a few hours later (sometimes not).  He would always ask me each morning in a kind of throaty voice "Hey Wren!  Where's the sports page"? If I didn't have it that morning or more likely lie and say I didn't, he would reply "That's garbage, Wren"!  He did it with such regularity that I began to impersonate him.  I had the impression down to a tee.  I began to do it whenever I would see Fuzzy, "Hey Wren!  Where's the sports page."? Then Fuzzy would reply, "that's garbage, Wren!", and then the laugh!  Fuzzy's laugh was similar to an old cartoon character I remember.  There was a cartoon called "The Perils of Penelope Pitstop" where 7 little dwarf-like gangsters in pin striped suits and fedoras tried to rescue a Snow-white like character named Penelope Pitstop.  One of the little mobsters use to laugh while saying something like "Penelope's gonna die".  I use to impersonate that as well.  Fuzzy laughed just like that cartoon character, but it was his real laugh, and the reason I tried so hard to humor him!

FAVORITE MEMORY

Later, Fuzzy left teaching and was working for a printing company.  Meanwhile, I was working at an office supply company.  Come to find out, our company would sub-contract print jobs to the company Fuzzy worked for.  It wasn't long before Fuzzy and I crossed paths again, if only for a short while.  He would make deliveries to my company and he soon found out where my desk was.  I'd be working and then hear this impish voice creeping up behind my cubicle. "Hey Wren, where's the sports page?"  I'd turn around in delight and reply "that's garbage!"  Together we would laugh hysterically!  He then would say, "Hey are you doing anything?  Come on, I'll buy you a coke!"  I'd always try to refuse his offer, but he wouldn't have it any other way. So, I would agree to let him buy it.  We would grab a coke and sit down in the company break room and just talk and laugh.  I don't ever remember any of our topics of conversation carrying any weight of worldwide importance, but it didn't really matter.  He was what a friend is supposed to be.

REGRETS

After being laid off from that company, I lost contact again with Fuzzy.  I don't know why.  I now look back at the last 8 years with the deepest regret I've ever experienced.  When I found out that Fuzzy had cancer, I was stunned!  This was as close to home as ever for me personally.  For some reason, I didn't call, write, or even visit him.  I can't explain why nor would I even try to rationalize it.  I even remember seeing his wife, Pam at the church building where they attended after he had gone through some treatments.  I remember asking her about him.  I never once saw him or contacted him since his diagnosis.  Granted, he did move to East Texas which added some distance, but that doesn't make for an excuse.  I did try to visit him when he came back to town to have some treatment in an Irving hospital.  I drove out to the hospital and was told that there wasn't anyone there by that name.  I made a few phone calls and found out that I had missed him.  He had his treatment and went back home.  That was a couple years ago.  I had no idea that that was as close as I would get to seeing him. 

Still, in spite of my failings, I had one last chance.  I received an email on April 5th that the doctors ceased treatments because there was nothing more that could be done as his cancer was spread to his bones.  The email even provided an address where I could mail a letter. My mind immediately raced through all the things I could say in written form.  Then I thought, forget the letter.  I'll record a CD of my voice and fill it with impressions and funny jokes.  That would be so much better than a letter!  Maybe, he might even call me when he listened to it, if he was feeling well enough.  But alas, I didn't do it.  I put it off, day after day, as I allowed my busyness to monopolize me. 

Then, I received an email last Saturday.  He was worse. The cancer, doctors said, had spread to his brain. Then, I received the final email Sunday morning which I retrieved from my phone on my way to church.  Fuzzy had died, and with him my last opportunity to make him laugh. 

ETERNAL

As a Christian, I of course believe that life in Christ is Eternal.  But I also believe that "eternal" is far more than securing life in the hereafter. Eternity began with Fuzzy long ago. Cancer didn't force Fuzzy into eternity.  He was already living it! Salvation is God's solution for taking away our sin, not just the the guilt.  Salvation is God's solution for an abundant life; a living water. Fuzzy's hereafter arrived early Sunday morning, and now, of course, he is in the presence of Jesus today which eases the burden of regret for me a little.

LEGACY

Fuzzy was a Christ follower that resulted in an abundant life.  He was a heavy drinker of living water.  His intoxicating laughter proved it!

Laughter is God's ordained sign of life in Christ.  Laughter was something that Craig "Fuzzy" Zeller mastered!  It is a vital component of a full and vibrant life that reaches into the very dark places of the human soul. How much do you want to bet that there are far more people laughing with Fuzzy in heaven as is crying for him on earth.

It was the greatest life lesson that Fuzzy the teacher / friend ever imparted to me.